Some Advice About Salt

DrRich | February 21st, 2012 - 4:31 pm

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In a previous post, DrRich explained to his loyal readers why the Central Authority’s recent assault on salt is, at best, premature.

Our leaders, of course, insist that the benefits of a universal sodium restriction, applied to each and every American citizen, is more than merely an extraordinarily healthful idea – it is settled science. And anyone who says otherwise is the moral equivalent of a Holocaust Denier (or worse, a Global Warming Denier).

DrRich’s earlier post argued that the available data falls far short of supporting a universal sodium restriction, and suggested that the government is embarking on yet another experiment to be perpetrated upon the population at large, much like Our Leaders’ earlier unfortunate experiments with low-fat diets, and adding trans-fats to most of our processed foods. Since that earlier post, several new scientific studies have been published which lend support to DrRich’s qualms about a universal salt restriction, and which suggest that, indeed, low salt intakes are likely to be quite dangerous to a substantial minority of people.

However, we are now in a new era of herd medicine. And a universal sodium restriction illustrates the very nature of herd medicine. Our Central Authority calculates that a universal sodium restriction is likely to add up to a better overall collective outcome. And if 10-20% of the people suffer because of this policy, that’s not really relevant. It’s the overall outcome that is dispositive.

And people who complain about this are just being troublemakers.

Because a sodium restriction is settled science, new data (unless it is supportive data), by definition, is not allowed into the discussion. Indeed, by definition, the discussion is over. And those people and organizations who have petitioned the government to reconsider its universal sodium restriction policy, citing lots of scientific evidence to show why this policy is at best unproven and quite likely dangerous to the public, are just identifying themselves as some of the people with whom DrRich will be doing morning jumping jacks when he is finally assigned to his reeducation camp.

And so, realizing that it is pointless, DrRich will not rail any further against the government’s policy on salt restriction. Instead, he will undertake the task of providing useful advice to his readers, aimed at helping them to cope with the inevitable changes that are coming to the foods they eat – and perhaps, helping them to get enough sodium in their diets to avoid early death.

First, DrRich urges his readers to notice that purchasing bags of salt, even in large quantities, is not yet illegal – and indeed there is, as yet, no special “salt surcharge” or “salt tax” added to the purchase price. Further, DrRich reminds his readers that salt is famous for being storable for very long periods of time. So stock up while you can. Ten to 15 years of salt in your cupboard will likely take you up to the point where total societal collapse, Greek-style, will make the amount of salt in your diet the least of your worries.

As a simple precaution, however, when you buy your bags of salt you should not use your credit card or your debit card, and by no means should you allow your friendly neighborhood grocer to tabulate your purchase in the grocery’s rewards program. Use cash. (Indeed, since your future healthcare may very well depend on your long-term compliance with various dietary directives, you should probably begin purchasing only fruits and vegetables with any of these non-cash alternatives.)

If you keep your salt purchases to under $20 cash at a time, odds are you will not trigger official scrutiny.

Second, a week or two ago the CDC released an extremely helpful report which lists the 10 food categories which contribute most of the sodium consumption to the American diet.

These include:

- bread and rolls,
- cold cuts/cured meats,
- pizza,
- poultry,
- soups,
- sandwiches,
- cheese,
- pasta mixed dishes,
- meat mixed dishes,
- savory snacks.

These delightful culinary treats, the CDC warns us, are deadly due to their salt content. The Agency further indicates that strong government action is necessary, and is coming, to remove these dangerous products from the grocer’s shelves. (And the CDC, DrRich reminds his readers, is a government agency, and therefore is one of the manifold voices of the Central Authority. We must take its pronouncements seriously.)

So once again, stock up while you can. Some of these foodstuffs can be purchased in jars and cans, and will keep for years. Dried pasta and savory snacks also store quite well. Other items on this list can be bought and frozen. And of course, you can buy a bread maker, which, utilizing the bags of salt you have on hand, can furnish you with all the sodium-laden bread you are likely to need.  And once again, use cash.

DrRich sincerely thanks the government for providing this helpful list of essential foodstuffs which it is targeting for obliteration.

Third, when we are stocking up for the shortages which the government has now pledged to create, it is inevitable that we will misjudge on the necessary quantities. We may find, for instance, that we have way too many Cheetos on hand, and not enough linguini. This means we had better be prepared to barter with our neighbors.

Since it is relatively unlikely that American greenbacks, by that time, will be valued enough to induce your neighbor to part with irreplaceable cans of chicken noodle soup, DrRich humbly suggests that you begin laying up a few dozen cartons of cigarettes. If you travel to any socialist country, you will find that cigarettes are the universal currency, and can get you just about whatever you need.

Finally, even if you do not believe that owning salt or salty foods is about to become at least a misdemeanor, or that we are about to become a barter economy, you should still find the government’s Salt Target List helpful. The companies that make this stuff are about to come upon very hard times. So scour your investment portfolio before it is too late, and make the necessary adjustments.

DrRich, as always, is pleased to be of assistance.

3 Responses to “Some Advice About Salt”

  1. GingerR says:

    I’ll put salt, as well as TSP for my dishwasher on my “cash-only” list.

  2. Jupe says:

    At some point, Dr Rich, I’d like to see you theory on what motivates public health experts.

    A long time ago a very wise woman (who remained anonymous to me, but I suspect was Sandy from That Blog) communicated in private to me that she believed that the scientific consensus of an age tends to follow the biases and beliefs of the overall era. (paraphrased, she said it much more eloquently.)

    Running with that, it seems to me that today’s public health experts were often kids during the 70′s, and subjected to massive amounts of diet industry ads. People who were scorned as pseudoscientific “health nuts” in the 50′s and 60′s soon became seen as oracles of Truth to teens in the 70′s, 80′s and 90′s. And those kids grew up to become public health majors. And perhaps from there, survival of the most zealous kicked in? The more vulcan-like objective people are seen as weaker and self-selected out of the halls of power?

  3. Kristen says:

    I’ve got a 10 lb bag of salt that I purchased a couple of years ago at costco. Just cause I use it in so many ways other than just cooking. I make my own bath salts & scrubs cause well its cheaper. I’d be at the store every week buying salt in those tiny amounts they sell at regular grocery stores. Let me tell you. I don’t have any government agents banging down my door. Not a single one. Thanks for the laugh.

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